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Points to remember when asking for a divorce

For some people, the end of a marriage is a decision based on one spouse's wishes and needs. The issue that comes up sometimes is that one spouse doesn't want to divorce. This adds more strain to a situation that's already stressful. Coming up with a plan can help you to try to avoid setting the stage for a contentious divorce.

One of the most important things is to try to determine how your spouse is going to react to the news that you want a divorce. If you think there is a chance that things will not go well at all, you should try to let them know when there is someone around who can keep things on track and monitor the situation.

State the facts

You need to clearly state the facts about why you are ready to divorce. This can easily go into a downward spiral of blame games. Try to avoid that and use compassion when you talk to them. There is a chance that this is a complete shock, so try to remember that they haven't had the time to adjust to the news like you did. While you are doing this, be sure that you don't backtrack on your desire to divorce. Wavering now can set a dangerous precedent for the divorce process.

Don't overanalyze right away

The meeting when you tell your spouse you want to divorce isn't the time to try to work other things out. During the divorce, you will figure out different aspects of the split like who is going to get which assets. The one thing that you might need to cover now is who is going to live in the marital home during the divorce. Some provisions about the children might also be necessary.

Take a step back

Once your spouse gets the news of the divorce, they may need time to digest it. This isn't always easy, so be sure to take a step back and give them space. They will have time to come to terms with the situation which could be beneficial as you get everything figured out.

After you tell them about the end of the marriage, you can work toward getting everything situated to be finalized. If you can work out the details through compromise, you might be able to get the divorce over with faster than if you have to go through a divorce trial.

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