When divorce is the best way forward

Divorce doesn’t always have to be a contentious and ugly affair, but it is rarely easy. Sometimes it just makes sense, and both California spouses can agree that it’s time to end the relationship and move on. Other times it happens all at once, but either way, it only gets harder the longer you put it off.

What are the most common reasons for divorce?

Abuse in both its physical and emotional forms is common ground for divorce. You might also find that divorce is the only option if your partner mentally leaves the room by numbing themselves with substances. When you’re living with someone who is constantly intoxicated, it can feel more isolating than if you were living by yourself.

But a person doesn’t have to be drunk or on drugs for them to fail to be present in their marriage. Even if they are stone-cold sober, your partner may still be exhibiting pathological passivity in the relationship if they never contribute or help out with problem-solving. It’s incredibly hard to figure everything out on your own, and you shouldn’t be expected to.

Being in a relationship implies that there’s more than one person working together to make things easier – not more challenging. When your partner is acting more like a child than an adult in the relationship, they may start unconsciously treating you as if you’re a parental figure.

From incompatibility to infidelity

You might also just be incompatible with your spouse. Some people just have strong opinions, want to have certain things their own way and don’t have any room for compromise.

Things like infidelity can also lead to divorce, in which case you’re most likely to see the dramatic and sudden end of a marriage. But that’s not always the case, and the decision to get a divorce is often a slow burn.

In some cases, it’s just that the kids have moved out. Now that the parents have the house to themselves and – in theory – don’t have to worry about their children as much, their focus might turn inward to their own relationship. And with the consequential fallout of breaking up the household lessened, it may seem like more of an option than before.

Sadly, some people are not capable of loving their partner or giving the amount of love that their partner needs. This is one of the hardest things to hear when you’re on the receiving end, but something that must be accepted in order to move on.