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Kern County Family Law Blog

Don't stay stuck in the divorce rut

A problem that many divorcing spouses experience is struggling to move on after the divorce is finalized. This does not necessarily mean moving on to another romantic partner, but just getting on with the typical activities of life.

Face it — a messy divorce can knock the stuffing out of even the strongest individuals. This is especially true when long-married couples divorce or in any marriage when one spouse doesn't want to end the union. Below are some suggestions to help those who are stuck learn to move on.

What is a military family care plan?

Single parents in the military and families in which both parents serve must have a family care plan on file with their current commanding officer. This plan outlines what is going to happen with minor children, as well as special needs individuals who are cared for by the service member.

This care plan has to include specific points. Once you have it all set, your commanding officer must approve it. You then have to update or recertify it at least annually. Remember, the family care plan only goes into effect if you aren't able to care for the children because of your military duties, including deployments, training, drills and mobilizations.

Guidelines for children's medical care after your divorce

Child custody orders cover a variety of situations. One thing usually covered between the child custody and child support orders is the child's health care. It is imperative that you understand what each person's responsibilities are for this area of care.

It can be a challenge to get health care matters figured out when they span two homes. You and your ex will likely have to work as a team to make this happen. This isn't an area where either parent should keep the other parent in the dark. Instead, both should know exactly what is going on so that everyone is on the same page.

Depression can impact your ability to handle custody matters

Navigating the world of child custody is challenging. If you are suffering from any chronic mental health condition, such as depression, you might find that there are times when things get so stressful that you wonder how you are going to make it through it all.

There are two components of child custody that can often prove difficult – living as a single parent and having to communicate with your ex. In order for you to avoid going down the dark hole of depression, you have to make decisions now about how you will arrange your new parenting arrangement.

Children's reactions to divorce may depend on age

As you move toward divorce, you turn your attention to the kids. You have read about how hard divorce can be on children, and you'd like to shield them from that.

This mindset carries over into the divorce itself. You resolve to work with your ex to come up with a parenting plan that really puts the children first. You put their needs ahead of your own. However, you also realize that this process needs to start before you even officially split up. It needs to begin in the home, as you move closer to the end of your marriage.

Divorce is a time for new financial decisions

When you are going through a divorce, you can take the opportunity to revamp your entire life. Your finances are one of the areas that you might want to think about changing. You will be the sole adult to make the decisions about where your money goes. Plus, you will have the only income coming into the home.

There are a few things that you can do to protect your finances. Even if you think that you will be fine, you should take these to heart because you never know what is going to happen during the divorce or the time after it.

Protecting your time and relationship with your child

As a parent, you know that the time you spend with your child is some of the most precious time you have. Unfortunately, in a co-parenting situation, respecting each other's parenting rights and preferences is often very difficult. Many parents find that the first year of living under a custody order is very difficult, and few parents manage to follow the guidelines of the order perfectly. This is normal, and it is often wise to give each other grace when conflicts arise, for the sake of your ongoing relationship with the other parent, and for the child that you both love.

But, some parents engage in truly unacceptable behavior and actually violates the parental rights of the other party, which may come with legal consequences. If you believe that your child's other parent violated your rights, don't hesitate to consider the legal options you may use in response. An experienced attorney is a strong resource you can use to understand your legal options and examine your circumstances to keep your rights secure.

What will happen to my retirement savings in my divorce?

Every couple who has been married for a long time will have a different situation as it applies to their retirement savings. In some cases, the couple will not have any retirement savings at all. In other cases, both spouses will have their separate IRA, 401(k) and investment accounts. In still other cases, one spouse will have the IRA or 401(k) in his or her name, and the spouses will share several other investment accounts in their joint names.

Regardless, if you or your spouse have retirement savings held in any investment account, the task of dividing these assets can be complicated.

Keep your children safe and healthy through your divorce

Do you know that it is time to file for divorce, but worry that the strain of the divorce process will harm your children? On the other hand, if you don't bring an end to your marriage, the toxicity of that relationship may hurt your children as much or more than a divorce.

This dilemma paralyzes many parents who love their children very much and don't know how to end their marriage while protecting their children from the unavoidable hurt of the process.

Don’t get hung up on material roadblocks to divorce

When you and your spouse begin the divorce process, it is easy for the experience to overwhelm you. Few experiences carry such a visceral emotional weight and also such potentially serious material and financial consequences.

It is important to find legal representation that understands what you truly need when you enter into a divorce. Some spouses want to use the divorce as an opportunity to punish their partner for their own hurts and disappointments, and seek legal guidance that seeks the same.

Free Consultations in All Family Law Matters

From divorce to domestic violence claims, you maximize your chance for a better outcome if you involve a lawyer sooner rather than later. At the Bakersfield Law Office of Michael L. Seidman, our lawyers are ready to take action to resolve problems, while minimizing the emotional and financial impact on your life.

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